Well.

I think M cheated on me with R. I guess I don't have a right to be particularly angry, especially because of D and everything, but still. I wouldn't have expected him to do that. Plus I think R told him that I am considering the break up when I was on vacation. I don't think R was really my friend in the end, which sucks major dick. She just left for a job in DC and I was sad to see her go but now I'm kind of over it. I thought I really had a friend here, and once again, I was wrong. I do still have V but she doesn't know my life right now like R did. Ugh. I want to go back home but there's nothing for me there besides loneliness and eventual depression.

I had a dream last night that M told me about R and that he also slept with C but I only told him about C this morning. Then I saw him texting R while we were watching a movie. I am a horrible girlfriend but I need to know what he said because he kept his phone very private after that. Again, I know I don't have a right to be angry or upset but I am. 

No more

It's was exciting, it was risky, it was new. We were gonna go again but D backed out. I almost tried to coerce him but then I realized how horrible that is. I wish we could do it again. But now I know more than ever that M and I won't last much longer. I'm a bad person but I liked the new experience.